Trying to Find My Place in My Own Business

As I write this article, I am sat in the studio office with Meg and Jen. It is T-5 days until my maternity leave begins, and I am trying to write enough articles, create enough videos, and do enough signing off to allow myself two months out of work. So whilst it is now September when you are reading this – it’s the very end of June as I write this.

Today Jen and Meg have been working together to start reviewing each other’s newsletters (Jen is taking over all our main newsletters whilst I’m gone, and Meg will continue doing all The Studio newsletters), because – given I won’t be around – we still need to have review processes in place. With the length of my to-do list and only five days to go, I’ve had to be completely cut-throat about what I am and am not involved in. So I have no idea what post Jen is asking Meg to review for tomorrow – but I know they’re on it. I have no idea what the studio team is prioritising stock-wise next week, but they seem comfortable. I have no idea quite how the next couple of months are going to go – and it feels terrifying.

But I was listening to a podcast on my drive into the studio this morning with Jo Malone, and she was asked what the best piece of advice she would give to a business owner was – to which she said, “For man to discover new oceans, he must first let go of the shore.”

That comment has never resonated more strongly than it has over the last couple of weeks, as I let go of everything and hand over my first-born child, The Fabled Thread, into the hands of my eminently capable team – and we all step forward into the unknown. Each one of us very uncertain about how it’s going to go – but ready for the challenge ahead.

Whilst of course this is all being triggered by the fact that I am expecting a baby, stepping back from the detail of the business is something I’ve needed to do for quite a long time. I started the business with a view to having a more creative role – to being able to do all the things I love – but inevitably, as the business has grown, the bits I enjoy most can tend to feel like the most frivolous. How can I justify making a collage if I’ve got the VAT return to do, or should I really be visiting a gallery when I haven’t even edited the pictures from the last gallery visit?

Somehow, over time, the bits I really enjoy about my work have kept getting pushed to the bottom of the list. So this moment – when external factors are forcing me to step away – feels like my opportunity to reset my relationship with my work.