Do We Deserve Your Attention?

I was listening to a podcast last week with Seth Godin—the American writer known for his books on marketing, creativity and starting businesses (ones like Purple Cow, This is Marketing, and Linchpin). It was a short interview on the podcast Hungry, and while the conversation darted around quite a bit, one line stuck with me:

“Attention is scarce and trust is rare. You have to earn both.”

It was a different way of looking at marketing than I have ever considered before – in a way its common sense but it totally changes the way you look at how you promote your business. I’m writing this in my final week before maternity leave begins (a deadline I really don’t want to move), and I’ve been ruthless about what gets done and what gets dropped. Seth’s line made me look again at my to-do list. If attention is something you earn, how do I make sure the marketing I’m planning actually deserves to be there?

Now I can’t say for certain that what I took from Seth Godin’s quote is exactly what he meant, but here’s how interpreted it and why it stuck.

We’re living in a time where we are absolutely bombarded from every angle. There is always something trying to steal your focus. Your phone pings constantly – messages, alerts, emails, updates from apps. You can’t walk down the street, get on the tube, or open a website without being confronted with ads, offers, reminders, suggestions. Soon we’ll even have advertising in our WhatsApp messages – no space is sacred. Every inch of our attention is being competed over, claimed and monetised.

And then there’s content. Everyone is making content… endless articles, videos, reels, threads. And now with AI in the mix, its easier than ever to create “stuff”. Whilst we used to have to think about what article to write, now we can just ask ChatGPT to do it for us and have 20 articles on the blog in no time. There are a million posts on every possible subject. So why should someone read mine?

In some of the small business groups I’m part of, there’s a running theme of frustration. The algorithm isn’t working, ads cost more and perform worse, SEO feels impossible to keep up with. It’s easy to believe that just because we (businesses) exist, we deserve attention. Whilst of course that would be lovely, Seth’s comment was a bit of a reality check – we do not deserve your attention, we must earn your attention. It doesn’t matter how good our products are or how long we’ve been at it or how much we want you to take notice or how many times we’ve posted – none of that automatically earns you someone’s time.

If people aren’t giving us their attention? It’s not because they’re lazy or distracted or rude. It’s not because the algorithm is punishing us or because customers just don’t get it. It’s because, somehow, we haven’t earned your attention. That’s the hard bit to accept and understand.

More than that, when we do get someone’s attention for a moment—that’s not enough. The end goal is trust. Long-term, genuine trust that makes someone want to take a risk and buy from me, or tell their friends about me. How do small businesses get you not just to pay attention in the first place, but pay attention for long enough that you start building trust?

There is a reason that my articles on the business side of life skew heavily towards sales and marketing. Designing a great product, recruiting a team, developing smooth operations, managing our financials – whilst of course all have their own complexities - in a way they are the easy bit. They are the foundational elements a business has to do a “good enough” job at to be a success. But they are nothing like the challenge of actually getting people to pay attention or part with their hard-earned cash for what you have created. That is where businesses fall down. Whilst the reality is we will never build a great long-term business if we have a rubbish product, sadly there are lots of businesses with incredible products who fail because they never manage to get people to take note. All the business foundations are pointless, if no one pays attention – and humans are frustratingly independent. I can’t control peoples actions and make people do things just because I really want them to – which is why sales and marketing is such a minefield and can feel soul-destroying.

Take one of the most common marketing channels as an example: social media. There’s a widely pushed rhetoric—often by social media marketers (who, unsurprisingly, are also selling access to their own services)—that “if you post, they will come.” The idea is that if you just show up, use the trending formats, and stay consistent, then the sales will follow. But, from my experience, this simply isn’t true (believe me I have tried and wish it was!). And yet, it’s easy to believe it, especially when we’re putting time and energy into content and getting nothing back. As a business owner, I can end up feeling frustrated, helpless—because you’re building visibility, you’re getting seen, but none of it seems to be converting. And it starts to feel like the algorithm’s fault, or the customers’ fault.

The hard truth is that just showing up isn’t enough. Yes, being visible might get you in front of people but visibility doesn’t automatically equal interest. It’s not enough to momentarily grab someone’s attention - we have to earn it, again and again, from the right kind of people - the people our business is actually for.

Now of course, there are ways to get people’s attention quickly. You’ll know the tactics because you will have had all of them used on you. The countdown timers, the “only three left in stock”, the prize draws and giveaways, the “offer ends at midnight!” warnings in red. They’re not inherently evil, they’re just little nudges which work. But because they work, it’s so tempting to use them. When we’re tired, when sales are slow, when we’ve poured our heart into a launch and no one’s biting—it’s hard not to think, let’s just add a quick time limit, or a flash sale.

These tactics work because they tap into very primal human emotions. Scarcity triggers our fear of missing out—if something’s nearly gone, that means lots of other people want it so we must want it too. Urgency pushes us to act now rather than pause and consider if we really need something. Hope makes us enter a competition we have no real chance of winning. And the more emotional ones, the more questionable tactics, lean into insecurity—those “if you don’t do X, then Y might happen” kind of lines that are really just veiled pressure.

Whilst they do get clicks and can get people to act, there is a cost.

Firstly, these tactics have a very short shelf-life. We might get a little flurry of activity the first time, but if companies use them too often, people will see through it. They’ll start to ignore it and potentially begin to mistrust us.

Secondly, and this one hit me quite hard recently, they can backfire. We had our 20,000th order earlier this year and, in the spirit of celebration, I shared that we’d be popping a special gift in with whoever placed that order. It wasn’t meant to be a ploy—it was just genuine excitement from our end. But one customer messaged to say how much she hated the way we’d done it. That it felt like a crass attempt to drive sales, to get people to rush in and spend. I was gutted that something that felt generous on our end had been received so differently. It reminded me how delicate trust is. We can work for years to build it, and then misjudge one thing and lose it.

But the biggest issue of all is that these tactics can lead to buyers’ remorse, and that is the last thing I want. It’s genuinely one of the most disheartening things you can experience as a small business owner - to put all your effort into creating something beautiful, only for someone to buy it and regret it. And not because the product wasn’t good, but because they weren’t ready to buy. They felt rushed, or pressured, or slightly manipulated. And yes, we’re all grown-ups, responsible for our own choices. But still - if someone feels pushed into a decision, they’re not going to come back. They might not even finish the kit. They’ll associate your business with that feeling of having been sold to, rather than cared for.

So while I’m not saying we would never use urgency, or run a promotion (we do one sale a year ourselves!), I think the key is intention. Is it genuinely useful? Does it help the customer make a good decision? Or are we using it because we’re panicking about sales and just hoping for a quick fix? If we want to build something sustainable, we can’t build it on manipulation. We have to build it on trust.

Now this is the really hard bit, which I say with the full knowledge of someone who’s been trying to figure it out for the past five years. I’d love to tell you I’ve cracked it, but even now, I still get it wrong all the time. Every so often, we put something out there that I think is really great and everyone will love, and it just falls flat. Whilst I would love to say that’s the algorithms fault, more likely it’s because I misjudged what our audience care about. I know that because, if I am totally honest, I can usually tell what’s going to work and what’s a bit half-baked. If I’m just posting for the sake of doing something, it rarely goes anywhere. Unsurprisingly, people can tell when I have just tried to churn out something. But when I’ve put thought into it, when I’ve cared, committed, actually tried - that’s when it tends to get attention. Its common sense - if I wouldn’t read my own article or comment on my post, then why would anyone else.

So, from all the testing and trying (and failing) over the years, here’s what I’ve learnt works best across our marketing channels—at least when it comes to getting attention and converting that into trust:

1. Value first:
   We have to actually give you something. Showing you a new way of working creatively, introducing you to an artist or movement that’s genuinely different, triggering a conversation about something you care about. It might be useful, or thoughtful, or just a bit of fun. But if it gives you something—something you didn’t know about before—then that’s when it tends to get noticed. Generally, those things are absolutely nothing about who we are as a business or what we sell.
2. Speaking like a human:
   We are pretty good at telling when we are speaking to or reading someones real self, and can see through “brand speak” a mile away. As much as it’s such a buzz word, authenticity is hugely important. If I do something just for my brand that I don’t genuinely believe to be true, you are not fools, you are going to see through it. It’s one of the reasons, for example, I don’t want to do adverts in the summer showing me stitching outside, because you know what, I don’t stitch outside in the summer. Whilst it would be great for business, I hate outdoors sewing. Stuff blows around, I can never get comfortable, the light glares, the sun is too hot, I just don’t like it. So whilst I could shout about how you should all be stitching on holiday, the moment you take your sewing on holiday, 90% of you will think the same as me – this is pants.
3. Relevance over reach:
   Striving for as many views, likes, downloads as possible is completely counter to the idea “don’t try to be everyone’s cup of tea.” Our ego wants more, more, more – we want to look like we are nailing it. Another idea of Seth Godin’s is the principle of Minimum Viable Audience – in short you want to find the smallest group of people who are genuinely interested in your product and can sustain your business. Focus on that specific, dedicated audience through building deep connections, rather than trying to appeal to everyone and chasing broad popularity. As an example, some of our marketing activities which have built the best long-term connection are our longform YouTube stitch-along videos. These each probably achieved average 4,000 watches, but people who watch them, love them and really get to know us through them.
4. Treating your customers like humans:
   This is the other side of speaking like a human—actually seeing your customers as human too. I need to try and understand your perspectives, think about how they’re feeling, what they need from me, what they might be wary of. If I want your attention, especially over time, then I need to pay some attention back. For me this means being open, honest and trusting enough in you to know I can tell you things and you are not going to judge me for it — even when that honesty doesn’t sound like perfect marketing. For example, if we’re running a sale because we need to order our Christmas stock and manage our cash flow, I should just tell you that. I shouldn’t pretend it’s a spontaneous gift out of the kindness of our hearts. I should trust you enough to share the truth — and in turn, hope that you’ll trust us too.

And the slightly painful reality is that some things that feel monumental inside the business don’t actually deserve your attention at all. A great example of this is business rebrands or a website relaunch. These are the kinds of projects that are so all-consuming and expensive and stressful for the business owner that by the end you just want to shout about it. You want people to see what you’ve done and feel how you feel. But the truth is… they won’t. And why should they? A slightly different box, or a nicer typeface, might get a small acknowledgment from your regular customers, but for everyone else? It’s not that interesting. A new website is only interesting if there is actually something new on it I can engage with. Just making the shopping experience slightly easier – whilst I am sure it will result in a higher website conversion rate, really doesn’t actually require the customer to give you their attention or build loyalty. However what I could do is write about why we have done the rebrand, take you behind the scenes of the process, show you what wasn’t working before and what is working now. It will take a lot more time to do this, but then it might actually get you to feel some of the excitement I feel.

So all this takes me to the harsh reality. Creating a marketing strategy which hits all those 4 points above — the kind that resonates and feels like something someone might genuinely want to engage with — is actually hard. It would be so much easier to just pop out a few lovely product photos, maybe draft a little carousel of beginner tips, knock up a handful of articles on “why embroidery is great for mindfulness” and line them all up on auto-post. And to be honest, sometimes we do those things because that’s all I can manage, or all the week will allow. But the reality is it’s dull, its transparent, and it won’t work. Maybe it would be better if we didn’t try to fill the void when there doesn’t feel like there is time to do something of quality?

The truth is, the things that have worked best for our business - not in terms of short-term spikes, but in terms of building actual connection and trust - are the things that took a lot of energy. The things where we’ve thought about what might be useful or interesting or genuinely enjoyable, and put something together that we ourselves would want to read or watch or take part in. I wish there were quick wins, but I just sadly don’t think they exist (not repeatably at least!).

This leads me to the 80:20 idea – the theory is that as a business, you have to give 80% of the time, and ask 20% of the time. That 80% of giving doesn’t literally mean giveaways. It can be entertaining, educating, inspiring – writing for the sake of writing, sharing recommendations for things completely unrelated to your business, making videos which don’t even show your product – but the key thing is, it’s purely about giving. And then, with the remaining 20%, you get to say — “here’s what we’re working on, here’s what’s new, we’d love you to take a look.” Not with any expectation, but because if you’ve done the groundwork, you’ve earned the space to say it.

Overtime, once you have built up trust, you might be able to shift that balance slightly. With your really loyal customers, they will be far more receptive to an email just showing your new designs, because they already know you care about them. You build trust and that gives you permission to sell. However for so many businesses, it’s tempting to flip the balance too early – 80% ask and 20% give. You can picture those businesses – they send you endless newsletters promoting their products repeatedly. Their Instagram feed is full of product shots with no engagement. The issue is, they haven’t earnt the right to your attention.

So this is why Seth Godins comment resonated so strongly with me – because it totally flipped the way we can tend to approach marketing on its head. It’s not about “how do I get attention?”, but “how do I become worth someone’s attention?” It’s not about fighting the algorithm or posting at the right time of day or trying to go viral. It’s about putting something out into the world that people genuinely want to read, or watch, or listen to, or buy.

Now I actually do think this is what we have been doing pretty well as a business for the last 18 months through articles like this. And whilst on the surface we haven’t necessarily sky rocketed (we have probably grown our Instagram follower count or newsletter subscribers by about 30% each year), our sales have just boomed. We are getting new customers, we are converting people from interested into customers at a higher rate, our return customer rate had gone up hugely, we are re-engaging people who last bought from us over 4 years ago. We are getting attention in a way we never did before I focussed on giving back over taking. Like much of life, you do tend to get out what you put in. If you churn out surface-level content, if you’re only showing up for the sale, then that’s what people will respond to. If you act like people’s attention is a given, they’ll treat your work the same way.

My hope is though that when you do build trust, it starts to hold its own and compound. We are putting so much effort into our marketing strategies at the moment – its 80% of my time for sure – but once we have got to a stable level of trust, I don’t think I’ll always need to churn out more and more just to stay visible. The hope is we build the business so our customers start to coming back or telling other people about you just because they want to, not because we ask them to. That’s the idea behind Seth Godin’s Minimum Viable Audience, or the 1,000 True Fans theory – that if you find a small number of people who are really into what you do, and you treat them with attention and care, that can be more than enough.

This article isn’t meant as some grand declaration of how things should be done. It’s simply what I’ve come to believe, after five years of running this business, learning (often the hard way), testing things out, getting things wrong, and trying to figure out how to keep marketing the business in a way that I feel proud of.

We have to sell, of course we do. This is not a hobby, it’s a business, and without sales there’s nothing to keep the lights on. But I don’t want to sell by manipulating people to get attention. I don’t want to create panic or scarcity or make people feel like they’re missing out. I don’t want to shout, or push, or promise things that aren’t true. I want to share what we’ve made, and why we care about it, and hope that for the people who like that, they feel like they get to know us.

The reality is this sort of approach is not fast – for example, it has taken me 5 hours to write this article, plus all the time in the run up thinking about what I want to say. However, from what I’ve seen in the kind messages we get, in the way people reply to our newsletters, in the repeat customers who show up year after year, its creating something solid.

That doesn’t mean this is the only way to do marketing. There are loads of businesses that do brilliantly with totally different strategies — faster-paced, more trend-driven, more transactional. It all depends what kind of business you’re trying to build. For me, I know I care more about long-term stability than quick wins. I care about feeling good in the way we grow, not just the fact that we’re growing.

So when I think about any of our marketing communications — whether that’s a product launch, or an email, or a post — I try to ask myself: is this something I’d be happy receiving? Does this feel like something that earns someone’s time and attention? Because if someone does choose to give us that attention — whether it’s five seconds on an instagram story, or fifteen minutes reading a piece like this, or placing an order — I never want to take that for granted. No one owes it to us.